I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
