She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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