Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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