it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
