ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
ugly people sure do ruin things
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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