I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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