I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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