so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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