called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize