I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
