so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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