It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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