Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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