I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
