I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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