just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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