guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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