im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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