Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think a kid would responsible me up
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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