Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
