Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
