Can i not drive my cunt home
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There's always time for handjobs
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
