It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
