Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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