Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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