I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
