i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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