3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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