But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
