How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Never underestimate the power of titties
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
