Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
