Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
