Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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