dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
