White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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