Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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