dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
