Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize