I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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