I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
