Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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