Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
