I got chris browned last night
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We left the knife in your bed.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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