the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
