wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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