When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize