can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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