No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
