She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
how drunk are you?
Several
My bed smells like the plague
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
