yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize