I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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