I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
