both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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