Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
