I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
