New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
