Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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