i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
