The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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