She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
