is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize