Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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