u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
