I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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